THE EXCESS MUM ROLL
Don't get me wrong having our boys is the best thing that has ever happened to me, however learning to love my new fangled 'mum bod' just hasn't happened.
When I met Jamie I was a six 6, I had no trouble fitting in any clothes and had my tummy button pierced. I used to wear the skimpiest clothes and loved it!
Then I got pregnant with Jack, and felt hungry 24/7. I thought 'hey whats the harm i'm pregnant i'm meant to eat more' and so I ate enough for about 14 people daily. I grew larger by the day until one day I was in Tesco (6 months pregnant) and a lady commented that I am brave coming out so close to my due date.....
After having Jack the swelling that I experienced was another level, I couldn't fit in any of my shoes and just about squeezed my feet into flip flops to travel into Neonatal to see Jack. None of my clothes fitted and I ended up wearing Jamie's lounge wear. I felt horrific at the time but was more worried about Jack that I pushed it aside until about two weeks after Jack came home Jamie took (a rare photo) of me and Jack on the sofa and I cried. I looked like a washed up elephant, my hair was all over the place and the bags under my eyes were something else. I know that it was soon after having Jack but I have to say until about 10 months after Jack I didn't really start to loose the weight. Not through not wanting to but having a baby in our lives left me exhausted and often reached for quick and easy food fixes, things like cake, biscuits, sandwiches, etc.
I still hadn't lost all the baby weight when I fell pregnant with Teddy, but this time I was determined not to gain the 4.5 stone I gained with Jack!To be fair it was made a lot easy not to gain as much weight as I suffered from such bad morning sickness with Teddy. To the point I couldn't eat anything really and would have to force myself to eat the odd bit, which tendered to be more fruit based.
When I was in Labour with Teddy the midwife thought it was acceptable to tell me how horrific my stretch marks are- like seriously how did she think this was an OK thing to comment on whilst I am bent over in pain!?
I managed to breastfeed Teddy which was totally new to me, Jack only fed of me a couple of times and swapped to the formula for his weight/health. I again thought this was an excuse to eat more cake (in fact I was told to!). However it made it has made the past couple of months so much harder as I am used to being able to snack on the sweet stuff. After stopping feeding Teddy I have piled the pounds back on. My mum tum hangs over my hips, and barely tucks into my jeans anymore, my boobs are sagging from the lack of milk (or as i liked to call it magical boob enhancing / baby feeding miracle liquid), my hair had taken a hit like it doesn't know how to cope with the ever changing hormones and so gives up and falls out, my skin has turned all teenager on me, my stretch marks are clearly angry as they have turned purple again, and the bags under my eyes seem to have invited their family to stay as they are permanently camped there getting darker and bigger every day.
Some days I look at myself and think sod it who really cares if I am a stone and a half heavier than I want to be, my kids are happy and healthy that is all that matters. And then I find myself flicking through instagram and spot these super skinny mums who have 'bounced' back after having their little ones and I look down at my excess weight hanging round my tummy like an inflatable rubber ring and instantly decide I am eating super healthy. This normally lasts a couple of days until I have a bad day and I look for the wine and chocolate!