The last feed
I posted this two weeks ago on instagram and I could never have imagined all the positive messages I would receive. It's been two weeks today since I last fed Teddy and he hasn't looked back, he is now finally sleeping properly (only waking 1/2 times a night unlike the 8-10 times before). So I'm sharing this again in case it helps anyone else out their struggling, I am here to listen!
"I have always believed in "fed is best" but today I have cried a lot! Why though? Jack was born premature and despite trying to breastfed him he took to the bottle to quickly and to be honest as a first time mum I don't think I fought enough to keep pumping and trying him on me, he took to his cow and gate milk so beautifully. So when Teddy came along and I had the perfect birth, followed by him latching on straight away the bond we had became so amazing that I felt like I was on cloud nine. I didn't care I was getting no rest, that he relied on me to survive, no I was totally in awe of what I was doing and so in love that nothing could break me, I was determined! I cried (a lot) at the pain at first whilst my body adjusted but wow that pain was worth every second to see him thriving! So I guess that had made my decision today even harder... Teddy is now 11 months and 8 days old and still wakes every hour to be fed. Last night he was awake most of the night and I think we got about 40 minutes sleep. I have been so sore for the past two weeks from stress of being told I might have HTLV (thankfully I don't!) that my milk supply dipped and subsequently teddy has been sucking so hard I am now red raw and bleeding. So I have decided I think formula is better for us both, but after him having just had his first bottle (and me sat sobbing whilst he downed the lot!) I am still struggling. I feel like I have failed, which I know is stupid as anyone that knows Teddy knows how much he is thriving but I guess I just never pictured it ending like this... I guess I need to listen to my own moto more "fed is best"!!!! "